Can you imagine your life in wheelchair? Maybe someone who is reading this is in wheelchair….
Life in wheelchair and not being able to move ever again. Wow. I dont know how I would handle it. I am not sure if I would accepted it. I get flu and stay in my bed for 3 days and I am already complaining how life isnt fair. The other day I was doing parkour in forest. I did some very cool things and on my way home when I was jumping over my fence, I hit with my knee so hard on the edge of the fence that I almost pass out because of the pain. And I was so angry at life in that moment. I am doing all this crazy parkour stuff and there is no scratch on me, and now I am jumping over my fence that I jumped over million times in my life, and this accident happens. The worst thing is that couple of hours later, my knee is still hurting. And I dont know how many days, weeks will take me to recover from this. Did I injured my knee permanently?
The point is that I have very hard time accepting any physical limitations. If I cant function at my optimal level, I am very disappointed. And someone who is born with physical limitation probably finds this very weak and ungrateful from me. And I know that it is. But many times in my life I have asked myself, what would I do if i finish in wheelchair.? And to be honest, I am not sure if I could handle it very well. Probably for months, if not years, I would live in some constant anguish, regret, complaining how life isnt far and how this didnt supposed to happen… But eventually, I would probably just accept that it did happen and that I cannot change anything about that. My only focus should be how to still try to live life at maximum. I know one thing for sure, I would engage in sports. Lets move the best we can with what we got. I would do marathons in my wheelchair. People can do some kind of breakdance in wheelchair, people can play basketball in wheelchair. There are many options for wheelchair. Then, I can do calisthenics. I dont need legs for pull-ups. I would train parts of the body that are still functioning. Another thing, I would definitely find myself a job. Many people that end up in wheelchair get an opportunity to not work anymore and to get money every month. But you have to work. It will keep you sane. Without it, you are gone my friend. Life will become very dark.
One thing that you can do when you cannot move is, thinking. Intellectual pursuits. I would be reading books, writing books, blogging, I would watch movies, making art, drawing, painting, playing piano, guitar, recreational swimming, I would do some kind of online bussiness, I can still travel the world, or if not world, then I can still go out of my country, I can spent time in nature, I can learn new hobbies that doesnt require legs, I can still make friendships, relationships, I can play cards, I can attend parties (I cannot dance but I can make tricks in my wheelchair OOUUUYEEA), I can keep my sense of humor, I can still take care of my diet and not let myself to become more depressed than I already am… If I am ambitious or power hungry, I can still be business man, I can still become rich, and if I cannot find a woman to be with me, they will be with me when I have power. I am not promoting prostitution but my point is that it is not over. Options are endless. It is not end of the world. You can join your Church, you can join religion, do some kind of activities… Creativity. That is the key word for today. Dont just sit in your wheelchair feeling sorry for yourself. Do something. Make something that will take you out of your suffering.
Once again, I know that my opinion is not coming from place of authority, I am not in wheelchair, I can move, and I am not sure that I would be so full of enthusiasm if I do end up in wheelchair… Because, you are sitting the whole time. It is depressing. Reading books for sure will help you to cope with depression, but knowing myself, sometimes I just need to go and run couple miles to get rid of all tension and negative energy. Sometimes I just need to go and do some parkour, jump, move… Sometimes I just need to take a walk to feel better. And when you are in wheelchair, you cant do that. It is very depressing. Your body, your whole organism is dying everyday from the inside because it needs movements for circulation, for sweating, for realising tension. So if you can, do whatever you can to get some exercise.
Because I do know some people in wheelchair. I have them in my neighborhood. They have been hurt during the war. Croatian war (1990-1995) And now, 20+ years later, they refuse to have job, they are drinking every day and they are smoking few packs of cigarettes every day. They are trapped in some cycle of regret. I do understand that it is hard to go work when you dont have to. But find yourself something, part-time, or go and volunteer. It doesnt matter. What matters is that you have something that will take you out of your little world in your head that is filled with regrets, anguish. And on top of that, you drink, you smoke and you eat bad foods. I mean you already cant walk, cant stand, that is for sure going to make you more vulnerable to depression and it is for sure going to destroy your body. But dont add on that, dont quicken this process with bad diet, alcohol and cigarettes. But it seems that this people just dont care anymore about anything. It seems that once when you get in wheelchair, you dont care so much about your health. You see no point in it. But thats to me is like suicide. If I ever finish in wheelchair, I will either commit suicide, or I will make maximum effort to take maximum of life with my possibilities.
But however, it is very heavy subject.
All this got me to think that a lot of people are depressed today and they are not in wheelchair. And only remedy is to have idealistic optimistic outlook on life, to be creative, to be disciplined and to work hard and to make some kind of sense of your life. And I found myself that when I become to pessimistic, to not be creative, to lack discipline, to be lazy, then I get into very dark and weird place. I am filled with hate. I hate myself, I hate life, I hate everything. I need to constantly have some momentum forward in order to cope with stress. And that brings me to conclusion that people are who they are no matter if they are in wheelchair, have cancer, or they are healthy and they feel like on top of the world. It is attitude that counts.