Outgrowing your idols (People you once admired)

It is so strange!!!

We all have people that we look up to. At least I hope that we all have them. We have to strive towards something and someone needs to set an example for ourselves. There are just some people that when you see them, they have a certain vibe. Something in their behavior, their voice, eyes, hand gestures, in their speech… There is something in them. Some magical quality that you would like to posses. You admire these people. And you study them, you copy them, you are trying to understand their mind. They are something which you want to be. They have something that you lack. This is why they create such a strong impact on you.

I had many role models and people that I admired in my life. They showed me new possibilities. They helped me to become more confident and more interesting person. Of course, they didnt do it directly, but simply by being close to them, you get their vibe and now you are trying to find that vibe in yourselves. And over the years I had many people, real-life people and online personas that influenced me. Of course, when you are younger, you are more naive and you have less experience, you are more vulnerable to get fascinated by someone. But slowly that you build your own character and life experiences, you are becoming more and more concerned with yourself. You start to figure out who you are and you gain a sense of yourself and you become more picky about people that you admire. One thing that I realized is that we always have to have people around ourselves that are better than we are. It doesnt matter in which area. If you are car mechanic, you have to hang out with other car mechanics and you have to follow car mechanics on Internet to learn from them because there are people who know more than you and you have to find them, be around them, physically or virtually, and slowly you will pick up their vibe. But car mechanic is not all that there it is. You are also a husband, a father, a friend, a gardener, member of church, you have financial problems, you want to start online business… The point is, sometimes we suck in certain areas of our life. But than we meet someone who is rockstar in that area, and slowly by being around them, we get better in that area as well.

I had a phase where I believed that all answers to my questions and problems can be found in isolation, silence. I was believing that all you have to do is to get silent and to look for answers within. And I can tell you that helps. You can come to some pretty deep thought and insights. You can come out with some very original thoughts and ideas. You can come out with very creative visions. But thats not all. You have to move with people, you have to talk, you have to read, meet people, explore, travel, try different things… Learning and getting on next level requires internal but external stimulation as well. If you dont move, if you dont explore new things, you are not growing. You need other people and situations to achieve your maximal full potential.

But this is not exactly what I had in mind when I started writing this post. I had people that I admired, and I was admiring them so much that I thought that they are the best people possible to exist. How can someone not love them.? And interesting thing, many of these people when I look at them now, I cant believe that I was admiring them. I dont see anything special in them anymore. Everything that they stood up for, I dont find it so meaningful anymore. I dont find their example of such a big value anymore. Basically, I outgrow them. And also, on the other hand, a lots of people that I found boring and uninteresting before, now I start to be more fascinated by them. It is crazy how all that shifts.

Also important thing is that you have to look yourself as ultimate authority in your life. Meaning, you must posses your own character, desires, standards, you have to make your own decisions… If someone makes strong impact on you and is able to influence you, sure, you can probably learn a lot from them, but never perceive them as ultimate authority. Question them, question their values, make a distinction between you and that person. Use your own brain.

This is why I said that isolation is equally important as moving around.

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