Very often I fall in this trap where I am demanding something. I am expecting something. I think life should give me something just because. I am believing that I deserve something because of my deeds in the past. And it is a psychological trap that will make you miserable. You can get many things in life, but first you have to give something. It is a fair relationship. Life doesnt give you anything if you dont give it first. When you are giving, life is giving you. But when you stop, life stops as well. Dont worry about getting it back, you only have to worry about yourself and about the fact that you need to give all you got. This is old secret of life. It is nothing new. But in this old rule, I think there is a lot of misunderstanding. We can repeat things that someone has told us and we can imagine that those things are right, but to be sure, we need an experience. This rule of giving is not to make you poor and it doesnt represent that you go around and share everything with others. No.
Lets say you want million dollars.
You cannot get it before you give something. And giving is not something strictly materialistic or financial like how most people imagine it to be. Giving is something psychological and emotional. You are not rich. You dont have materialistic resources. But what you do have, you have psychological and emotional resources. You have a power of intellect, you have a desire. This is what you can give. And to achieve million dollars, you have to give your time and effort to that. You have to have strategy, plan, you have to work hard. You need to find right opportunity, you need to meet right people. And if you give your time to this goal, if you are consistent, you are going to achieve this goal.
If you want strength, power and health. You cannot just be healthy. You have to exercise regular. You have to stretch, you have to eat right, you have to eliminate bad foods from your diet. You have to push your physical limitations in order to grow. It is everyday process. And if you give your effort to some goal, life will reward you back. But it is only about you. You have to give first. Action and reaction.
Same thing with mathematics. You cant become good in mathematics unless you give hours and hours to your practice. You have to think about it all the time.
And this is formula for everything. It doesnt matter what is your orientation. Just decide that every day you are going to give something.
I mentioned that very often I fall in psychological trap. Sometimes I feel down, I am not in the mood, I am confused, lost, insecure. And this stage brings only passivity and worry. I feel unmotivated, I feel tired, I am angry at life and at myself, I hate life and I hate myself. I am making myself more and more miserable. I am becoming too much self-centered, selfish, only thinking about myself and how miserable I am. And whenever I am in this trap, it always takes me some time to realize that I am in it. Of course, with time and experience you become more aware of it. And when I am aware that I am in this passive miserable trap, I remind myself that only way out is to give myself completely to something. It doesnt matter if it is work, sports, arts, volunteering, serving people, studying, dancing, reading hard books, competing in any way… You have to pour your soul to something. Thats the road to freedom.
So many people say that exercising helps them with depression. How so? Ok, there is release of all kind of chemicals in brain and body, but more importantly, exercise helps you to put whole yourself into it. You are competing with yourself, you are continuing to go when you cant go anymore, you are pushing yourself, you are literally giving your whole self to do one more rep, one more set, one more circuit, one more minute.
If you are not constantly giving yourself, sacrificing yourself for something meaningful, you will develop all kinds of psychological problems. Narcissism, misery, egoism, depression, anxiety… You will not be able to stop thinking about yourself. You become completely self-centered, and when we are self-centered, only way out is to give yourself to something or to someone else.
Dont confuse self-centernes with healthy ego and assertiveness. You do have to have self-respect for yourself and you should assert yourself to not let other people to cross all over you, and you should do certain things for your own pleasure and you should put yourself on the 1st place, but you shouldnt put your comfort, your pleasure as priority in your life.
Today is different age. Everything is set-up in a way that it develops narcissism in people. We feel special. Today there are so many people with psychological problems. Past generations didnt had that special treatment. They had harder lives than us, but they didnt had clinical depression. (At least big percentage of people) Because they knew that they have to work hard if they want to achieve something, they knew that they have to give themselves completely. Today we are looking for easy solutions. For how to get rich quick. We want everything immediate. We think we deserve it all, but we dont give nothing back. We are afraid to live our lives for something meaningful. Only motivation is our own pleasure and comfort.