One of the greatest tragedies in our lives is a loss of person that we love. It shakes us to our core. It can puts us in deep darkness and anguish. But sometimes when we lose someone that we love, there is a secret relief, even happiness I would say. But what am I talking about? Am I out of my mind? How can I even say that?
Well I can say it because I witnessed it a couple of times.
I know few widows. They are all different but they have the same story, so I am going to share their stories. She is a middle-aged married woman. One day her husband gets cancer, or he has an accident… something happens. All of the sudden, she is left alone. She is sad, she is crying, she is in a very dark place. But suddenly, she starts to have mixed feelings about it. Yes, she is sad, God only knows how much, but now, she is finding a sense of relief. She is still young, good-looking woman, hungry.. hungry for experiences and adventure. Her marriage was not very satisfying last couple of years. It was a boring routine. Yes, she loved him, but deep down she always wanted to break free, but she couldnt do it. What will people say, is it moral to do that and so on… And now he is gone, God bless his soul, but here she is, still young, lost her husband, now she can finally be free and experience her thirst for romance, adventure, passion… Her mind is now filling with desires, dreams, visions of all possibilities that she can do. She feels reborn.
Now, I am not writing this to put a judgment on someone. In fact, I know a lots of women that lost their husbands and they remained loyal to him for the rest of life. They never kissed another man. My point is something else. It is about marriage. What kind of marriage is that? You are all of sudden happy (secretly happy) that you lost your partner. (you are also sad..mixed feelings.) That means that quality of that marriage was very low. That marriage died. Fire stopped burning. It all became the same. Just a straight line. The same habits, the same types of days, the same conversations… No passion, no excitement, no adventure, no creativity, no inspiration… Just a feeling of obligation that you have to stay with this person.. You know that things are not the way they should be.. Your thinking and your heart are not in harmony. You want to break free, change something, but you are finding thousand of reason why not to do it. You maybe dont even love this person anymore. It is just a habit. Or you still do love this person, but there is no more fire between you. But why? Who stopped the fire? You. You and your partner stopped adding wood to it.
Do something while you still can. Dont wait for external circumstances to shake you, wake you and make you finally to do something.