What is loss? Failure? Defeat? Pain?
One thing that I am becoming more and more aware of is that the more you avoid this things, the more you are sabotaging your psychological growth.
But what does that mean? Should you go around and look for failures, defeats and losses? No. Dont worry about them. They will found you.
Just decide to do something new and I guarantee, in 30 minutes you will feel completely defeated.
Lets say you decide that you will start drawing. And today is your first day of your new habit. You are already postponing it. Then you finally take paper, take pen and all of sudden you dont know where to start. It is becoming so frustrating. Couple of minutes in this state and you are already defeated.
But it is normal. This is the process. But what is the problem? Problem is that now you will think of this unpleasant feelings when it comes to drawing. You remember that last time you tried to draw and you experienced a lots of frustration, pain and you couldnt do anything and you felt like loser. You remember how uncomfortable it was, so now you dont want to even come back to it. But only way is to draw everyday. Only way is to be uncomfortable every day. And focus on the process, dont look for perfection. Make at least one line perfect today. Focus on that line. Forget about the whole picture. One line needs to be perfect, everything else it can be however it will be. But tomorrow do more. Tomorrow focus that you draw perfectly human ear, for example. You cannot draw perfectly, you can only develop it.
I believe in small steps. Small steps but consistent steps. You cannot expect to become better if you do something today and then dont do anything for 20 days. Do small things but be consistent. And everyday push limit little bit further. Dont take big steps. If you decide to do something without first developing yourself slowly, you will only get overwhelmed and you wont be able to do anything. First you have know how to walk in order to run and jump.
But you cannot walk, run and jump without never falling. Have you saw what child does when he falls downs? Child immediately tries again…because he is not driven by end-result…he is exploring his mind and body, his possibilities.
And for example if you are writing, you know it is true. It is process. In that process, you are developing yourself, you abilities, your skills… And today you are better writer. But you werent so good when you started it, do you remember it? And in the process many times you were even questioning yourself, doubting yourself, asking if all that makes any sense…but you continued to write and all of sudden you realize that your sentences are better, the way you express your ideas is better…everything is better.
Failure is really nothing but a learning opportunity. When you fail, all you can do is to take a step back, look at whole picture, get perspective, think why you have failed and what you need to change in your attitude in order to not fail again at the same thing. And you want to do that as quick as you can. I remember that I used to struggle with this. I would try something, fail hard and then I would be afraid to even try something again. And then I would need some time to finally convince myself to try something. What you need to is minimize that time between failure and new attempt. Many successful people say, it is never a loss, just a lesson. And it is so true.