I didnt wrote any special list of my goals for 2020. because I already have a list and I already know what I need to do…but however, there is one resolution that I will make in 2020. And that resolution is: I want to become dumb and stupid.
Yes, that right… I want to become dumb and stupid. I am a well-read person, I watch documentaries and I am constantly learning something… Few people have told me: you speak very clearly, you are clever and you know a lots of things. But however, that doesnt make me happy… In fact, it leaves me unfulfilled. I see a lots of less smart or intelligent people than me, and they are more happy and they live better life than me.
That got me thinking… You know what, my goal is not any more to be smart, intelligent and perfect human being. I rationalize too much… I want to stop looking for perfection… I want more courage in my life… I want to go after it… I want to be all-in. I dont want to withhold and withdrawn which I do very often. All the time I withholding something. I am waiting for something. And last few weeks I have tried to let down my guards and to be more chest-opened, heart-opened, more vulnerable… I dont want to hide anymore… I want to go fully, all-in… and in those last few weeks, I feel that chemistry of my body has changed… I was engaging life and I didnt hide from it… And to be honest, I was amazed. I can do so much, but I dont do it because so often I rationalize, I am looking for perfection and perfect moment… and I am missing on life.
I want 2020. to be a hell for me. There is no other way to experience my true capabilities than to face big challenges and overcome them… I cannot activate my true powers and strength if I dont put myself in situations that will require it.
I need to face my own mortality and fears of it… I need to face my biggest weaknesses and fears… I need to feel pain and I need to suffer little bit… That is only way to live really fulfilling life.
So my approach for 2020. will be to be less smart, less intelligent, less rationalizations, less judgmental… And more courage, more actions, more life, more risks, more experiences….
Being intelligent only leads you to an isolation, it makes you anti-social…and it cuts you from life and experiences… So often I say, I am too smart for that… Well my friend, being too smart will make you miss on life…
Yes, you are intelligent when you are safe in your room.. But lets test that intelligence.. Lets put you in tricky situations…Now show us your intelligence. Now show us who you truly are… It is easy to hide from life and say that you are intelligent… no, you are a coward…
I have heard a phrase, too smart for your own good.. Then you are not smart at all. Than you are stupid… Real intelligence is not how much you know and how sharp is your thinking… Real intelligence is how to take the best from each moment and experience… And real intelligence is to ask yourself, how can I have more experiences and how can I experience more this intense moments when you become so fully alive that you are almost unstoppable. All fear disappears.. It remains only courage, freedom and heart full of faith and joy… Everything else, it is empty existence. Cheap existence with cheap rationalizations and excuses.