Problems and emotional drama

I had a conversation with my cousin and she is telling me her experience when she was volunteering in one camp where she was taking care, educating and animating children…And she is telling me how some children had some kind of emotional problems..love stories…and I dont know what else. And of course, my cousin, when someone goes to her with his or her problems, she listens, she gives advice, she gives perspective, she is supportive…

Me..on the other hand… I dont want to engage in other problems and dramas. Specially not children drama… It is not that I am cold-hearted…but most children problems are nothing but abstract problems…fantasy.. lalaland… And I dont want to enter their realm and discuss with them something which is not even real.. I dont want to deepen their fantasy and their illusions…but instead… I want to take them out of their ego, of their little fantasy world and I want to put them in creative process, in playful process…I want to tell them interesting story…a story that will awaken some thoughts in their little heads…a story that will shift them from developing their narcissistic side… Because all those abstract problems are only imaginary problems… it is egoistical and it is selfish… And I dont want to deepen their egoism…I want them to learn how to channel that focus onto something else…something productive and creative…

My cousin will probably kill me when she reads this. Haha.

Anyway… I was thinking about myself…and honestly I was never sharing my problems and things that bother me with other people… I was never asking for advice or help… Yes, sure…I can ask you for advice or help in some specific way…something simple… I can even say what bothers me… but I was never going around and speaking about my problems and wanting attention and someone guiding me… In fact, I always want to be perceived as super strong badass who has everything under control….

Anyway, I asked myself…why I didnt never go to someone with my problems? Why I was never talking with my parents or my friends about my little insecurities? And I came to an answer and that is because I dont trust anyone. I dont trust my parents. I trust their intentions, I know they want good for me…I dont doubt that even one second… But I dont trust their advice… And I dont trust other people that are giving advices…. Everybody are so not creative…people give you the same advice all the time…it is so cliche… No one is original and authentic.. They just keep on repeating well-known things that we have all heard. And I dont need that…that is not going to solve my problems.

And I am so happy that I dont have this habit speaking about myself and my insecurities and my little world…I dont need drama in my life… I want to minimize drama as much as possible and increase creativity to the maximum level… Then why should I talk about something which is pure drama??? When I am talking about myself, my insecurities…I dont feel good about myself. I am losing my self-esteem… I need to watch on my reputation… I want to be entrepreneur one day… Who is going to trust me if I go around speaking how insecure I feel, how lazy I am…. No one is going to trust me. But if I appear calm and collected… If I leave my ego aside when I speak with you and if I seem to have everything under control…you will trust me… If you can see that I have my own mind under control, I will gain your respect and trust. And If you see a sign of weakness in me…you will start to doubt my capabilities… Then why should I go around speaking loud about my weakness…I am just ruining my reputation and my confidence… I am sabotaging myself. So yes, I believe in repressing your emotions and channeling them in the most productive way…. And solve your own problems… I am my own psychologist…

And plus, when you talk about what bothers you, you are giving your power in hands to someone else… Now that person has an advantage over you. I am not saying that they will use it against you… But I had situations like that… You say something about yourself because you trust that person… and then few months later, you start arguing about something…and then that person brings that up… It is disgusting.

Dont wear your heart on sleeve. Only when someone gains your trust…only then feel free to open… But even then…dont create drama.

If you are always serious, calm and collected…and then when you say that you have problem…people will actually listen to you…because they know that you are not pretending.

2 comments

  1. Yes, I tend to not be so open around everybody, especially strangers. I think it’s best to be open around a certain few who you really trust. Sometimes we don’t need advice or judgement. We only need somebody who will listen and that’s all. We even talk it ou and figure things out for ourselves sometimes but we need that numan sounding board. This is a thought-provoking post. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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