And day 15 of blog challenge. Last day… It goes so fast… I just started to warm up and now is over. I need like 150 day blog challenge…
Big thanks to https://daysixtyfive.com/ for creating this challenge… Follow her content because there will be more challenges in future I guess.
Anyway…lets finish with this.
WHY/WHEN DID YOU START BLOGGING?
I start blogging seriously in last two months. From there I consider myself a serious blogger… But I have a history before that… Before this blog, I had two other blogs that I deleted haha. But lets go back to November 2016. This is when it all started.. I was working in this shop that was selling technology and gadgets…and I became deeply frustrated there. And I quit that job and I wanted to have something only for myself… And I was thinking about blogging because I remeber that I used to write when I was younger. I had this haunting thought that I am supposed to write. So here I am, wanting to start my first blog…dont know anything about it…gather little information.. Just a little…I didnt want to do some deep researches because that is only procrastination..I guess I will figure things on my way. And now is time to write my first post. I decided to write on English…because then all over the world people can read my blog.. If I write on Croatian, no one will read it… But I never wrote anything on English and that was my first time trying to write on English… And I sat down with paper in front of me… Of course, I buy special ‘notebook’ that will be for my blog… And I am opening first page….And I was so naive… I thought that I will get some kind of inspiration… I thought that God, heavens and angels..or whatever is out there…will just give me perfect words that are just going to flow through me….I cannot believe how naive I was hahaha. It seems that God, angels and heavens were not on my side…because I sat there I dont know how long without writing even one letter… In the end, I wrote something…and I publish it…haha… it was disaster.. But I continued to write…every day… Really, it was embarrassing how bad it was… and more I wrote, doubt that this is not for me grow more and more… I kind of lost hope that I will ever figure this thing out.. I show my blog to some of my friends, and they all say, yes, it is good, you are the man, keep going… basically, they were lying to me. And one day, I was bored and I said, lets write something…simply because I was bored…and at this point, writing is my new habit…and we always go back to our habits… so I got back to writing…And I wrote… And actually, I was surprised with myself. For the first time what I wrote, had some sense… It was small improvement…almost unnoticeable…but still, it was improvement… That gave me more motivation to continue this…Still, my writing is very bad but there is some improvement and I am starting to understand this little bit more… Out of 10 things that I write, maybe one is good…or two… When I started writing, I didnt expect that I will enter my mind the way I did… I gain some reflection, some insights about my own mind…It was therapeutic… Next thing that happened, I would speak with someone, and all of sudden, my communication is on different level. I am not struggling to say something… You know that feeling when you want to explain yourself, but you just cant put feelings in words…you cant give your feelings the structure… That was gone… I was able to communicate clearly…most of the time… Still, I have a lot of things to process what is going through my mind… And started to think…this writing…it is a super power… My confidence has increased… When I was talking with people, they were actually listening me… And that was not the case before… And they didnt listen me before because I was all messed up in my head… But by writing, my mind got in order. So I decided…I am going to delete my whole blog and everything that I have published… and I will start all over again. And I did… with time, I just got better at writing, I got developed more self-awareness, my communication improved… And writing was just a habit… I didnt had to force myself extra hard to write something… But however, after few months of writing that new blog…I begin to stagnate… I didnt feel any improvement… I didnt know what to write about anymore… Then I had a period when I was not writing and blogging… here and there, I would get some inspiration, I would write something…and then again, for days, I wouldnt do anything… I was not committed. Lack of commitment was showing in my writing as well. Plus, I was not active in blog community, so I had just a few followers… No one knew about me, no one was reading my blog, I didnt get any likes and comments… I was like in dessert…hungry and thirsty….alone…
Then, I deleted all that content and for the third time..I begin everything from the start again… But again, I was not committed and I was not active in blog community… So I just decided that I am going to give up on this blogging thing. I will write for myself, in my journal… At this point, it has been already three years as I wrote my first blog…so that was now in November 2019. I said to myself..blogging was just a journey and experience for me…I can cross it from my bucket list..I can say that I was a blogger once…and I can move on with my life. I just need to cancel my ‘WordPress premium’ because it is going to renew itself in couple of days… So I gave up from blog…and for some reason…I didnt cancel my WordPress premium and one day, I just get an info from WordPress thanking me for being with them and how my premium programme is renewed and blah blah blah.. And I said to myself..you know what…since now I spend money again on this blog and since I do have it…why not use it… And new world opened up in front of me.. a new Universe… new possibilities.. new understanding.. I decided to commit myself, to go all-in…and plus, I already have 3 years of experience with writing..so I already do have some writing skills… I just need to become more serious, more dedicated…and I have to go all-in… I started writing everyday.. I started following other blogs…I got engaged in community… and BOOM, magic happens. All of sudden everything makes a sense… My mind exploded with ideas and possibilities.. Now I want to read more study more.. so that I am more resourceful and that I am never without content.
And it is crazy how it all happens… For three years I was wandering, being lost… I was trying, but I didnt had right strategy and right skills… And then when I decided to give up, when I started to think that I got nothing in myself anymore, that this is not my passion….totally different world opened in front of me. And now I understand…for 3 years I was just preparing myself…I was developing myself… and now I am finally rewarded for all that silent work and all those silent hours that I put into it..
Thank you for reading this.. I really do appreciate it… Internet is unlimited and you can watch movies, listen to music, play games…so many things..and you are right now here, reading this blog… And that means a lot to me. So thanks to everybody who is reading my blog…. because I know what is like when nobody is reading your blog.. And I am happy that no one did read it because it was not really good. Haha. I would just embarrass myself.
Have a nice day!