Tough love

So I got little bit of ‘hate’ for one of my previous post… I would say that I am misunderstood…some people are trying to make a monster out of me. And that is sad to me because they are too attached to my words and they are not looking for meaning behind it… So I will try to give my best to explain myself…

First, I will tell you few words about my father…My father is very judgmental person. He doesnt tolerate anything….He doesnt sugarcoat anything.. He tells it like it is…If you are fat, he will say that you are  fat…he will not lie to you… But also, my father is person that you can count on in every second.. Right now if you get in some kind of trouble…for example, lets say you are in the middle of nowhere and your car gets broken…you can count on my father…He will come to you and help you… You need help with your apartment…you got some work to do…you can count on my father…he is going to help you… But he will never be ‘kind’ to you… He will never kiss your ass..

As a kid, I always hated my father because he was so direct and he always told me the truth…Even if it was too much for me… He called me stupid when I was stupid. He called me naive when I was naive….He never told me that he loves me… and as a kid, I hated him… But as I grow up little bit older, I started to admire him… He was always showing his love with deeds, not with words…that is just his ways… He never let anyone to manipulate him… He is straightforward and he tells it like it is… whether you like it or not. But if there is a crisis, my father will never let you down…he is not going to disappoint you… He will stood by your side…

Now….I know many ‘spiritual’ people…many people that are talking about kindness, love, peace, unity… On words, they are golden people….but when there is emergency and some kind of crisis, they are gone…they disappeared. They are too soft.. Too sensitive…

And my father knows that…he was basically dragged to war when my mother was pregnant with me… He had to fight in war, think about his family, stay mentally normal…and be strong enough to survive all that… He met many people that are smiling, that are polite, that are nice and kind…and those people always disappointed him…

So what, you are kind and polite….but that doesnt mean that you are good person and that you are willing to help someone when that person will get in some kind of trouble…

My father…and my grandfather as well, have always teached me to be correct person. To be fair, to be honest, to respect others…but also to assert yourself and to never get seduced by smile and kind words… Because those are just words…

But lets go back to me and my post…All those things that I have written about that person…all those words are sign of ‘tough love’… I know that person is not happy… He is 30+… doesnt have woman or wife, lives in apartment that he is renting, doesnt have any money on his bank account…doesnt have a car, doesnt have any skills, doesnt have any perspective…when he speaks, you see that his mind is empty… I see him. I see his aura… I know that he wants girlfriend, I know that he wants career and fulfilling life…everybody want that… I see that he wants that… but he will not have it unless he changes the way he sees the world.. And he is probably that way because he never had a father that was direct with him…That is tough love…

Love is not just about flowers, butterflies and happiness…Love is something much more complex.

For example…I have a younger brother…I would go to the end of Earth for him… I would jump in front of train for him…But I will not let my brother to be blind and to be naive… If he becomes fat..I will tell him that he is fat and that he is stupid because he is fat… Nothing good comes with weight problems..

The same things is with this person… I do respect that person… But he is unhappy… It is obvious…And I have written that post because I dont want people to lack self-awareness the way this person is lacking..

And I got attacked that I am judgmental.. I dont understand this people… Attacking other people so easily… Maybe I expressed myself with wrong way…this is why I am trying now to make a better impression… So it is good that you call me out…so that I can explain myself better and make certain things more clear…

So just to make one thing clear…and by the way…that is problem with the blogging and writing…it is limiting because people cannot see you…but…lets go back..I do love and respect people… Whoever is close to me, will know that for sure… I am good, nice and kind person…I am not evil, I dont gossip, I dont criticize others in every sentence….but if you are fat…I am sorry but you are fat… It is your fault… It is your sin.. Your weakness…

And dont think that I am judgmental just with other people…I am judgmental with myself as well… I criticize myself as well… That is only way to grow…

But what do you want? Truth or nice fake words? What do you prefer more? I like more nice fake words..but I prefer truth above everything else…

And to show you what do I mean by that… I am right now disappointed with myself because I am even writing posts on such topics… I should write about history, geography, science, technology and human psychology… Those are topics that I am good at…And I should write about that and provide value to people but I got stuck into some kind of meaningless topics… And now I am angry at myself… But I will have to change that… I need better perspective…I need more self-awareness…  

I just hope that you can understand meaning behind my words… As I said, I know many ‘spiritual’ and ‘religious’ people who go around talking about kindness and how we should behave….but when you need them, they are hiding… And I know many people that are not so kind…but when you need their help…they are right there to help you..

2 comments

  1. Hey Dario! See you don’t have to be disappointed by the comments. I know it is the lack of communication, maybe words can’t communicate properly what we want to say. See, you thought about something and written a post.. your thoughts and people in comments were having their thoughts. It’s ok to have different opinions. I was not criticizing you for thinking that way. And you don’t need to explain yourself if you have clarity. The comments are just a way to have different opinions. No one can force you to change your perspective. It’s totally yours. As you said your father says exactly what he feels, that’s what I did. I commented what I felt.. but I don’t mean to criticize you🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dont worry…it is perfectly ok… just other person which i dont even know if that person is male or female because he/she is hiding behind a picture of tree…writes in confusing way….manipulates me….shares his opinion and he didnt even saw that person so he doesnt know anyone…doesnt know me…and then bullies me to feel guilty… i dont understand how certain people even give themselves a permission to do that…and that same person that is talking about not judging people….will run away in face of adversity….

      Liked by 1 person

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